


Giddy Up

by tennou



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Farm/Ranch, Alternate Universe - Western, Anal Sex, Cattle Raising, Fluff, Humor, M/M, Non-Binary Hange Zoë, Power Bottom, Romance, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-11
Updated: 2014-06-11
Packaged: 2018-02-03 23:52:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,414
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1760039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tennou/pseuds/tennou
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“I wouldn’t mind slappin' a saddle on that pony and riding him all over town,” Levi muttered underneath his breath. Hanji regarded him with a look of vague disgust.</p><p>“I cannot believe you just said that.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Giddy Up

**Author's Note:**

> SNK FARMING AU. (sorry for any mistakes near the end--its 1 am and i need sleep) ALSO I COULDN'T THINK OF A TITLE IM SORRY

Levi needed more ranch hands.

Ever since Farlan and Isabel had ventured off to “greener pastures” in the Wild West (Levi doubted they’d find much in the west, despite the numerous flyers advertising the excess of arable land that was supposedly just lying there for the taking—but he digressed) he’d been stretched thinner and thinner.

It had gotten to the point that he’d had to entrust laundry duty to Hanji. Hanji.

He’d put it off for as long as he could, but he really had no time to spare between milking the cows and tending the livestock, managing the storefront, taking care of day-to-day living tasks, and keeping those pesky neighbor kids out of his prize-winning azaleas.

To find a solution to his problem he’d stapled flyers up all around town advertising the newly available position on his ranch, hoping somebody with at least minimal competence would answer the call. But until then he’d have to buck up and try to get by with his ragtag little family of him, Hanji, and Mike.

Levi dug out the last visible weed from his azalea garden and, satisfied with his work, decided to call it a day and head back into the main house. He stood and pulled off his gloves, frowning when he saw a new hole in the material. He shook his head and stuffed them into his back pocket.

All he could do was hope that someone would answer the flyer soon, because he was getting fucking tired of running ragged holes through all his clothes.

“Hanji,” Levi called as he spied his inept farm hand meandering out of the main house. “Where do you think you’re going?” He was positive they still had work to do around the ranch.

“Nowhere,” they said innocently, but Levi knew better.

He squinted at them accusingly. “You skipping out on work again to go see that bar matron?”

“Petra is more than a bar matron,” Hanji countered with an indignant lift of their chin. “And maybe you should find yerself a fella to marry too. Yer always bitter as hell like you’ve got a stick up yer ass or somethin’,” Hanji put eloquently. “Maybe settling down with a spouse is just what ya need.”

Levi rolled his eyes. Hanji was always telling him he was like a lonely old spinster who needed a good lay (even though he was only 32 years old, thank you very much) but they’d started bringing it up a lot more often ever since Isabel and Farlan had left.

And yes, maybe Levi was feeling a little starved for affection lately, but he hardly had the time to focus on his own romantic afflictions.

“Also!” Hanji continued. “We’re not so strapped for work around here that I can’t take an hour or two for myself. Mike’s still here! He’s out back with the horses. And if you need anything else, just ask the Jaegers next door; they’ve got more kids than they know what to do with.”

Three to be exact, though two of them had been adopted. Strange situation, because he could’ve sworn he’d caught the three of them holding hands (and maybe even kissing) out behind his stable on more than one occasion. But what those weird kids did in their free time wasn’t really his concern.

“It’s not the kids that I’m payin’ to be here,” he said, setting a scowl on his features and crossing his arms in a way that he knew people found intimidating even on his small frame.

Hanji guiltily didn’t make eye contact, opting to let their eyes wander until they landed on something directly behind him. The quasi-guilty look on their face vanished, replaced with a wide and excited grin.

“Well, would ya look at that? Looks like you’ll be getting some extra help around here after all, eh?” Hanji said, grabbing a hold of Levi’s shoulders and spinning him around to see what had improved their mood so dramatically. Levi’s breath caught in his throat at the sight.

It was a man. And he was tall. Also muscular.

That’s good, Levi thought. He needed someone bulkier than he was.

Levi spied some blond hair peeking out from beneath the slightly-oversized white Stetson atop his head; he followed the line of his strong jaw down to the full pink lips, high cheekbones, and piercing blue eyes that decorated the man’s chiseled face, and he almost sighed aloud.

The boy was an absolute dream to look at.

“He’s a pretty pony, isn’t he?” Hanji whispered conspiratorially.

“Pretty” didn’t even begin to cover it. He was fucking gorgeous, in that rugged cowboy kind of way that Levi had always strived for but never achieved.

“I wouldn’t mind slapping a saddle on that pony and riding him all over town,” he muttered underneath his breath. Hanji regarded him with a vague look of disgust.

“I cannot believe you just said that.”

“Go flirt with your bar matron.”

Hanji didn’t need more of an invitation than that. They whipped through the picket fence and clapped the tall blond man on the shoulder, uttering a rushed, “Welcome aboard,” before racing off to Petra’s bar. Levi rolled his eyes at their assumption that he would hire the man based on his looks alone.

Though, to be honest, there wasn’t much that would’ve deterred him at this point.

“Are you Levi Ackerman?” the man asked, and Levi suppressed a shiver at the soothing baritone of the man’s voice.

 _Pull yourself together_. He cleared his throat.

“Yeah, that’s me,” Levi said. He took slow, deliberate steps toward the man until the only thing separating them was a foot of space and the white picket fence. Best to keep up a cool appearance (even though Levi was dying to climb that man like a big-ass tree). “Who’s asking?”

The man reached into his back pocket and pulled out a folded-up piece of paper. Levi’s flyer. “It says here that you are looking for some help around the farm? If so, I was wondering if I would be able to offer my assistance.”

Levi felt all his previous interest in the tall handsome stranger quickly drain from him at the sound of the man’s strangely formal speech. He sounded like one of those city-educated boneheads looking for some quick fun in the countryside, and there was nothing Levi detested more. He felt his demeanor toward the man souring. He arched an eyebrow and eyed the man contemptuously.

“You always talk like a fucking pansy?”

The man’s baby blues widened slightly at the vulgar language, but Levi wasn’t too bothered by it. If the man wanted to work with Levi he’d have to get used to it sooner or later, and he preferred sooner.  

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” the man replied, curling the flyer up and tucking it into his pocket once more. Levi watched as the man reached up to take off his oversized hat and run his fingers through his closely-cropped hair, the action causing his shirt to ride up slightly.

Levi’s eyes flicked down to where his hard, muscled torso had been exposed. He felt a tingle run up his spine.

Levi wanted to taste that skin.  

“Sir?”

Levi looked back up to find the man toying with his hat in an almost anxious manner. A nervous tic, maybe? The man really needed the job, evidently.

Levi sighed. He’d always had a soft spot for big, lumbering blonds anyway (even if they were city-educated boneheads), and he did need the help. A hulking giant like him would prove very useful.

“How much can you lift?” he asked suddenly.

The man took a moment to consider it, his eyes roaming up and down Levi’s figure as he said, “Around the weight of two of you, I reckon.”

Levi narrowed his eyes. This city kid was really trying his patience. “I’m gonna ask you again, Blondie: how much can you lift?”

“Around 300 pounds,” the man amended, though Levi was sure he could hear some amusement in his voice. His frown deepened.

“You ever milked a cow before?”

“No.”

“Well you’re gonna learn. How do you feel about cow shit?”

“I’m not particularly fond of it, if that’s what you mean.”

Levi almost snorted. He had a sense of humor, at least, unlike the kind of stick-up-their-ass bastards that usually rolled in from the cities.

“Get used to it,” Levi told him. “Because you’re gonna be shoveling bucket loads of it.”

The man’s face brightened. “Does that mean you’re hiring me on?”

Levi held up a hand. “I’m not finished.” The man promptly shut his mouth and Levi felt his lips twitch in the ghost of a smile.

So he took to orders well. Levi liked that.

He crossed his arms and eyed the man up and down once more, before asking, “What happened to your clothes?”

At that, the man seemed honestly confused. He looked down at his shirt, inspecting it for tears or stains. “What do you mean?”

“They’re two sizes too small.” Though Levi didn’t exactly mind the sight of the flannel pulled tight across the blond’s muscular chest. And he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t a little curious to see what kind of view the tight clothes afforded him from behind. Mm.

“You’re gonna need all new clothes—in the right sizes—if you’re gonna be working as hard as we’re gonna be working you. That undersized hand-me-down type of shit you’re wearing tears way too easily. Oh, and another thing,” Levi added. “What’s the least amount of money you’re willing to work for?”

The man definitely had trouble with Levi’s blunt manner of speaking, made apparent as he stumbled over his answer. “U-uh, whatever you’re willing to pay?”

Levi grinned at that, a little bloodthirstily. “You won’t survive a day out here with that kind of attitude, Blondie. You gotta take what you want or others will just walk away with it.”

He turned back toward the house and waited for the man to push inside the gate and follow after him.

“Lucky for you, I’m a pretty generous employer,” he continued. “So here’s my proposition: your own cot to sleep in and two guaranteed meals a day, as well as some spending money every month. What you do with it is up to you. In return, you do some of the heavy lifting around here and some of the nastier shit that Hanji and I don’t like getting into.” Levi cocked his head. “You game?”

The man appeared to be mulling it over (that was good; at least he wasn’t a total bonehead) before he nodded his agreement.

“Good. You bring any baggage with you?” Levi enquired as he began washing off the day’s grime and dirt in the water bucket nearby.

“Yeah, one bag.”

“Bring it in before somebody steals that shit,” Levi said with a frown. “You gotta wizen up too if you wanna work with us Blondie.”

“Erwin,” the man said.

Levi swiveled around, eyebrow raised. But the man stared back at him calmly, his striking blue eyes steady.

“Come again?”

“My name,” he said. “It’s Erwin. Erwin Smith.”

“Wow. Real pretty. And what the fuck do you want me to do with that information?” Levi asked. “I’m your boss now, pretty boy. I’ll call you whatever the fuck I like.”

Erwin’s jaw tensed, and for an exciting moment Levi thought he’d come across the room and lay his large, sturdy hands on his body, maybe even manhandle him just the way he liked best. He licked his lips.

But the moment passed and the look on Erwin’s face withered, and he walked back outside to grab his bag. Levi slumped against the counter and rubbed a tired hand over his face.

_Here’s hoping the new guy isn’t total shit._

\----

“Just get your hand around it. C’mon, you’ve got big hands. Just—there you go. Oh yeah. That’s it. Squeeze it. Mmhm. Now try moving your hand up and down.”

Mike lifted an eyebrow at the voices coming from the cowshed. That sounded an awful lot like Levi.

But who was he talking to?

Mike wheeled his pushcart of hay over to the side and sidled up to the open cowshed door. Pretty careless of them to not even close it, he thought as he peered inside. They were in the far corner, partially obscured by a cow.

“No, you fucking—Just squeeze the goddamned thing!” he heard Levi yell.

“I’m trying!”

Mike’s nodded approvingly at the sound of the new ranch hand’s voice. He’d been eyeing that hunk of meat himself for a while now; it was good to see that Levi at least had good taste.

“Nothing’s coming out,” Erwin’s voice was just short of a disgruntled whine.

“Yer not doin’ it right, that’s why,” Levi snapped.

Mike caught a sudden whiff of the air inside the cowshed and frowned.

The cowshed smelled like cow shit with a hint of dairy, as usual. No scent of salty sweat or bitter cum that usually accompanied sexual activities. He squinted a bit, trying to get a better look at the situation.

“Why don’t ya know how to milk a cow?” Levi asked, exasperated as Erwin tried and failed to get milk to come out from the udder of the cow.

Erwin’s face burned red. “I’ve never had the need to. We used to—”

“Save it,” Levi cut him off. “I don’t need to hear your life story. Now move over. Let me show ya how it’s done.”

They were _milking a cow_. Mike shook his head and continued on his way to the stables, mentally berating himself for ever thinking something interesting would actually happen around there for once.

Meanwhile, Levi had already filled the bucket a quarter-way with milk.

“Try again,” Levi ordered, scooting his stool to the side. Erwin gripped the udders once more, his brow furrowed in careful concentration.

“Alright, squeeze.”

“I am squeezing,” Erwin huffed.

“You’re not doin’ it hard enough!”

“I don’t want to hurt the cow!”

“You won’t hurt the—forget it. I’ll milk the fucking cow. Move,” Levi shoved him out of the way. Erwin frowned.

“Then what am I supposed to do?”

“Fuck if I know,” Levi muttered, and then frowned at himself. Getting angry wouldn’t change anything. He took in a deep breath. “Go find Mike,” he said. “He should be in the stable. Ask _him_ what to do.”

Erwin nodded and walked off to the stables looking a little sullen. Levi watched him go, almost feeling a little sorry for him. But mostly just staring at his ass as he walked away.

Erwin found the stable with ease (Levi had shown him around earlier that week) and knocked on the door to get the large mustachioed man’s attention.

“Levi told me to ask you what I should do,” Erwin said, a hint of his glum mood sneaking into his tone.

The ghost of an understanding smile played at Mike’s lips. “I know he can come off as a little aggressive at times, but it’s just because he’s passionate ’bout what he does.”

Mike’s voice was like molasses, rich and deep and slow, and Erwin found himself relaxing easily at the soothing sound of it.

“He’s passionate about cattle-raising?” Erwin asked doubtfully.

Mike shrugged as he unloaded another bale of hay into the corner. “He likes the idea of the lifestyle, I reckon. Makin’ his own living, raisin’ his own animals, livin’ how he wants—all on his own.”

“Not exactly on his own though, is he?”

Mike smiled at that. “No, not exactly.”

He let Erwin stew on that as he hauled the last of the hay off the wheelbarrow. He breathed a sigh of relief. Finally finished with his task, he turned his full attention on Erwin. “You said that Levi told you to ask me what to do?” he asked, wiping the sweat off his brow.  

Erwin nodded eagerly. He felt the need to redeem himself after being unable to do something as simple as milking a cow. “I’m alright with anything, really.”

Mike’s lips quirked.

“Anything…?”

\----

Levi leaned back and flexed his fingers, stiff from milking all afternoon. Hopefully Erwin would get the hang of it soon because damn his fingers were starting to hurt like hell. He stood and carried the buckets out and into the kitchens where he poured it into the metal jugs Hanji had set aside for him.

I guess I should check up on Erwin now, he thought with a sigh as he made his way toward the stables.

He wondered what Mike had ended up making Erwin do. Hopefully something physically grueling.

He nudged the door to the stable open.

“Mike,” he called as he stepped inside. “I’m just checkin’ up on…” his voice trailed off as he caught sight of the spectacle in front of him. He crossed his arms. “What the hell is Erwin doing, Mike?”

Mike looked up at him from his seat on an old wooden crate. He didn’t look the slightest bit embarrassed.

“He’s just checkin’ the edges of the stables to assure there are no places for mice to crawl into,” Mike replied.

“Is that why he’s on his hands and knees with his ass up in the air like a target?”

Erwin frowned. “Wait, what?”

“Nothing at all, darlin’,” Mike said. “Just keep on looking. I’m sure you’ll find something.” He nodded admiringly as Erwin pressed his face closer to the edges of the stable, further jutting his ass out. And Levi had to admit: he could see where Mike was coming from. Erwin had a great ass.

But they had work to do.

“Oi, Erwin,” Levi grunted. “C’mon, get up. I have some real work for you to do.”

Erwin nodded and stood up, wiping his hands on the back of his jeans as he made his way out of the stable.

Once he was sure that Erwin was gone, Levi turned to Mike with a deathly scowl.

“What in blazes do you think you’re doin’, Mike?”

Mike met Levi’s furious glare with a steady calm. “Just having some fun with the new guy, Levi.”

Levi sucked his teeth. “Well I didn’t hire him so you could ogle his ass, alright? I hired him to do work. Manual labor. If you don’t think we need him for that, then I guess I should just dismiss him.”

Mike raised an eyebrow. “Are you really that angry over a couple’a wasted hours? All he would’ve done otherwise was shovel some feed ’round.”

“He could’ve been doin’ something productive,” Levi said.

Mike just shrugged and looked away, saying nothing. Levi’s brows furrowed as he waited for him to say something.

“What?” Levi asked when it became apparent he wasn’t going to.

Mike shook his head. “’S nothin’.”

Levi resisted the urge to groan in frustration. “Cut the bullcrap Mike and just tell me what it is that yer not telling me.”

Mike finally met his gaze. He cocked his head and spent a moment longer examining him in a way that made Levi begin to fidget.

“It just seems to me that you’re overreacting,” Mike said. “Maybe ’cause of some prior interest in Erwin?”

Levi felt his face go hot.

It was no secret he found Erwin physically attractive, so why was he getting so embarrassed when Mike pointed it out?

Maybe because it sounded as though Mike was implying there was more to Levi’s feelings than just physical attraction. Which was silly; he didn’t even know Erwin well enough to be falling head-over-heels for him.

“Get back to work,” he mumbled, turning to leave.

“Levi?”

Levi didn’t look back. “What?”

“Erwin seems like he’d be good company, if you’re looking for it.”

Levi paused in the doorway. “I’m not,” he said after a moment’s hesitation. His brows furrowed as he turned into the hall.

Why did everyone think he needed company so bad? He’d been fine on his own before Farlan and Isabel, and he’d be fine without them now too. He just had to get accustomed to it again.

\----

It was too damn hot. The sun was bearing down heavily on Levi’s skin, the light was too bright in his eyes, and he was almost dreading going outside to tend his garden. But he wasn’t one to shirk his duties so frivolously, so out he went.

He slapped on a wide-brimmed hat and shucked off his long-sleeved flannel shirt before trudging outside to his flowerbed.

As he settled in he heard the telltale loud, clomping footsteps of his least favorite ranch hand as they walked up behind him.

“It’s so hot, Levi,” Hanji moaned. Levi glanced up. They were fanning themself with something that looked suspiciously similar to the newspaper that Levi hadn’t been able to find that morning. “Are you really going to spend today outside playing in the mud?”

“Yes.”

Hanji exhaled through their cheeks. “Well,” they said, placing their hands on their hips and looking out past the fence. “I think I for one need a moment to cool off, if ya know what I mean. I hope ya don’t mind.”

Levi stopped his work and looked up at them, incredulous. “You’re kidding. Are you really gonna skip out on work to go see your bar matron today?”

Hanji grinned. “Yell all ya want, Levi, believe it or not I’m done with my work for the day. And I am gonna go get us all some refreshments from Petra’s bar as a reward. Ya know, to get us through this god-awful heat.” They started for the fence. “I’ll be back later tonight. Oh, and Levi?”

Levi crabbily blew the hair out of his face. “What?”

Hanji turned back to give him a smile they probably thought looked sly but to Levi looked constipated.

“I thought you might need some help with your gardening, so I told Erwin to come on out and provide his assistance.”

Hanji said the word “assistance” like he was gonna come outside and suck his dick or something. Though Levi wouldn’t be terribly opposed, if that was the case.

“I don’t need help,” Levi said, but Hanji had already hopped the fence and was on their way down to Petra’s bar, and he was left talking to himself.

“Levi?”

Levi stiffened. _There he is._

He wiped the sweat off his forehead with the back of his wrist and didn’t bother looking up. “If you wanna help, you’re gonna have to be willing to get a little dirty.” There were two ways to read that statement, really.

“I’m alright with that,” he heard Erwin say, before his lumbering figure folded down onto to his hands and knees beside Levi.

Levi handed him a watering can. “Just water the dirt around the base of the plants and pull any weeds that you see.”

He saw Erwin smile from the corner of his eye. “You don’t have to teach me the basics or anything. I’ve got some experience with gardening myself, actually.”

Now _that_ was a surprise. The poster boy for ruggedly-handsome cowboys liked flowers? Levi eyed him with suspicion.

“How’s that?”

Erwin’s gloved hands were already digging into the dirt. “My father liked to garden.”

Levi kept his eyes on the bright pink petals below him. “They got a lot of gardens in the city?”

Erwin glanced up at him then, eyes wide with surprise. “The city?” he repeated. “I didn’t grow up in the city. Where did you get that idea?”

“Sorry,” Levi said, hoping his cheeks weren’t too red. “I just assumed with the proper way you talk an’ everything…”

“Oh. I can see how you might come to that conclusion, then.” Erwin smiled at him good-naturedly and Levi felt his pulse speed up. The man was too damn handsome for his own good. “My father was a school teacher and I suppose the proper way he spoke just rubbed off on me.”

“I see.”

So he wasn’t some city-educated bonehead. Levi was suddenly finding less and less wrong with the man and Hanji’s words about “finding a fella” for himself began swimming through his mind once more.

“If you got a family, why’d you come all the way out here to find work?” Levi asked. “Your daddy turn you out?” That was what had happened with Farlan, at least.

Erwin didn’t answer right away and Levi glanced at him from the corner of his eyes.

Erwin cleared his throat. “He died, actually.”

 _Well, shit_.

“Geez, I’m sorry man.” Levi had the god-given gift of putting his foot in his mouth in the best situations possible.

Erwin shook his head. “It’s fine. I’ve made my peace with it, at least.”

“Well, that’s good. Closure. That’s…good.” God, he should really just stop talking.

Erwin looked over at him with a smile that made Levi’s heart flutter like some kind of hopeless virgin.

“Thank you,” he said softly.

Levi nodded. He tugged on the brim of his hat, lowering it over his eyes before saying, “It’s hot as hell, ya know. I wouldn’t mind if you wanted to take a break to cool off or somethin’.”

“I don’t think I need a break. But it _is_ very hot...”

Erwin sat back and Levi looked over just as Erwin began to unbutton his shirt.

 _Holy shit_ was the only thought running through Levi’s mind as Erwin’s fingers worked down his shirt and his toned chest came into view.

“I hope you don’t mind,” Erwin said as he let the shirt slip off his shoulders. Levi shook his head, his eyes still on Erwin’s bare abdomen and chest. He should’ve said something, or at least looked away, but Levi found that he couldn’t.

_Lord help me._

“Levi?”

Levi jumped a bit, startled out of his reverie, and looked back up at Erwin’s face to see the beginnings of confusion on his face. God, did the man not even know what a fucking prize he was to look at? Levi was almost pissed off.

“That’s fine,” Levi mumbled before turning back to the flowers.

They gardened in silence after that, with Levi sneaking a few glances over at Erwin’s rippling muscles as they shone in the sun. But when Levi saw Erwin lower his face to the flowers and gently take in the pleasant fragrance, that’s when he knew he was done for.

He tucked his chin against his chest and tried to keep his heart from beating right out of his ribcage.

\----

Erwin followed after Levi into the cowshed, an expression of obvious worry on his face.

“Wait, can you repeat that, please?”

“We’re selling the cow,” Levi said, pushing into the shed and heading for the cow in question. He circled around it, performing a last minute check to assure everything was regular.

“C’mon now, hurry it up. They buyer’s gonna be here any minute.”

Erwin looked down at the scuff marks on his boots. “What are they gonna do with her?” he asked.

“Hell if I know,” Levi said. “But that’s not our concern. We’ve got too many cows to take care of at the moment anyway, and they’re payin’ a hefty sum for it. It’s the best thing for us to do right now.”

Erwin frowned as Levi began to lead the cow out of the cowshed. Levi sighed and stopped, turning back to face Erwin.

“What is it?”

“What is what?”

“Don’t bullshit me. You’ve been standing around givin’ me the stink eye all day. What’s wrong with you?”

Erwin looked away and mumbled something too quiet for Levi to hear.

Levi craned his neck forward. “What was that?”

“…Do you have to sell Betsy?”

Levi squinted. “Betsy? Who the hell is Betsy?” Levi’s gaze flicked over to the cow he was about to sell and his eyes widened as realization dawned on him. He groaned. “Are you kidding me, Blondie?”

“No…”

How could Levi have thought this man could possibly be someone to fill his solitude. “Sorry buckaroo, but we’re selling ‘Betsy’.”

Erwin followed after Levi glumly as he led the cow outside and toward the back fence, where the buyer was waiting in his horse-drawn wagon.

“You got the cash up front?” Levi asked the man with the sparse goatee.

“Yeah I do,” Nile said, tossing Levi the wad of bills. He glanced over at the cow before his beady eyes landed on Erwin, standing off beside Betsy. He let out a low whistle. “And who’s this?”

“New ranch hand,” Levi said as he counted the money. “Why? You interested in buying him too?”

“Yeah,” Nile said, cocking his head as his eyes roamed up and down Erwin’s figure. “I wouldn’t mind payin’ a pretty penny for that fella.” Erwin looked over at them sharply, giving Levi an indignant look reminiscent of a wounded animal that made Levi almost laugh out loud.

“Well he ain’t for sale, sorry to say.” He gave Nile a nod. “Pleasure doing business with ya.”

“Wait!” Erwin called out suddenly.

Nile smiled and Levi thought he almost resembled a self-involved snake with really bad facial hair.

Nile leaned forward, flashed his crooked teeth. “You wanna say something to me, darlin’?”

Erwin shot Nile a dirty look and turned to Levi.

“I’ll give up my paycheck,” he told him. Levi’s brows shot up into his hairline.

“You’ll what?”

“I’ll give up my paycheck. I’ll work for free. All I ask is that you don’t sell Betsy to this man,” he said, jabbing a thumb in Nile’s direction.

“Hey!”

Levi ignored Nile’s cry and turned to Erwin, incredulous. “Are you serious?” he asked. “You’re gonna give up your hard-earned pay for a cow?”

Erwin nodded. He obviously had his heart set on it. Levi sighed and rubbed his temples. “I don’t know what to tell ya, Blondie. I already sold it to him. I’m sorry.” Levi couldn’t believe that he actually _meant_ it. He wasn’t that sorry to see the cow go, but he was sorry to see that it made Erwin so upset. It was a little strange to feel.

“Now wait a second,” Nile said, leaning forward. “I wouldn’t be opposed to working out a deal, of sorts, if you’re that anxious to get yer cow back.”

Levi arched an eyebrow. “Erwin’s not gonna marry you for a cow, Nile.”

Nile’s face exploded in red. “That’s not what I was gonna say!” he shouted. He cleared his throat and leaned back. “I was just gonna say that maybe if that one,” he nodded to Erwin, “gave me a quick little kiss for my troubles, I might be willing to return you the cow. With a return fee, of course.”

Levi’s face twisted in disgust at the mere thought of it.

“What the hell, Nile? If you’re that desperate for action you can just—”

“I’m fine with it,” Erwin said. Levi looked over to him with a frown. Erwin nodded. “If it means we get to keep Betsy, I’m willing to kiss him.”

“Really?” Levi could feel his stomach roiling. Wasn’t Erwin bothered by the idea at all? “There’ll be other cows, Erwin.”

“He says he’s fine with it,” Nile said. He smiled at Erwin. “Hop on up here and give me that kiss, then.”

Erwin did look vaguely disgusted, but nonetheless he walked around Betsy and climbed up onto Nile’s wagon.

“Just a quick one, correct?” Erwin clarified.

“More than a peck, ya understand.”

“Yes…” Erwin agreed uneasily. “More than a peck.”

Levi tapped his foot as he waited for the deed to be done. He told himself to look away but his eyes kept wandering over to where Nile’s lips waited for Erwin’s. Erwin began to lean forward. Levi imagined those full, pink lips touching Nile’s thin, chapped ones. What if he tried to use tongue?

When Erwin’s lips were a mere touch away from Nile’s, Levi reached up and pulled him backward off the wagon. Erwin stumbled a bit before righting himself and then looked questioningly to Levi. Levi kept his eyes trained on Nile.

“That’s enough, Dawk,” Levi said. “Just take back your money and I’ll have Mike send over the return fee, alright? That should be enough. Now get outta here.”

Nile scowled. “I don’t think so, Levi. I wanted that kiss.”

Levi let out a slow breath. “Yeah? You want a kiss that bad? You that desperate?” Before he could regret what he was doing, he grabbed a hold of Nile’s starched collar and yanked him down, smashing their lips together in what would probably remain one of the most unpleasant kisses in his lifetime.

Nile looked slightly dazed when Levi pulled away. “There’s your kiss,” Levi said, wiping his mouth with the back of his sleeve. “Now I’m serious, get outta here.”

Maybe it was because he was still in temporary shock due to Levi’s actions, but Nile didn’t put up any more of a fight and quietly drove his wagon away, leaving only Levi, Erwin, and Betsy in the middle of the path.

“…I hope you’re fucking happy,” Levi muttered. He couldn’t believe he’d actually kissed Nile. For a fucking cow. God, he needed to take a break or something.

He turned to go back inside but stopped when he felt Erwin catch his hand.

“What is it now?” Levi asked without looking at him.

“Thank you for doing that,” Erwin said. “But you didn’t have to. I would’ve been fine with kissing him.”

“Well, I wouldn’t have, alright?” Levi wanted to pull his hand away but at the same time he wanted to hold on tighter and maybe pull Erwin a little closer, too. “I didn’t want ya to kiss that sleazy bastard.”

He felt Erwin draw up closer behind him. “Why is that?” His words were almost whispered directly into his ear. Levi suppressed a shiver.

“Because. Because…” It had been more of a reflex, than anything. Levi didn’t really have an explanation. “I dunno. Just because.”

“Either way,” Erwin said. “I appreciate it. So let me thank you.”

Levi felt calloused fingers beneath his chin, nudging his face upward, and then he felt Erwin’s impossibly soft lips close over his own; a welcome change from the ghost of Nile’s lips that still lingered at his mouth.

Their lips moved slowly, as if still getting used to the taste of one another. He felt the swipe of a tongue against his closed lips but before he had the chance to do anything else, Erwin had already pulled away.

“W-what was that for?” Levi asked after a moment to catch his bearings.

Erwin smiled, though Levi thought it looked a little different than his usual winning cowboy kind of smile. A little more suggestive, maybe.

“A thank you. I figured you’d want to remove any remnants of Nile’s kiss from your mouth, and I thought one from me would be a good way to do that.”

Levi touched his lips lightly. “Pretty full of yourself, aren’t ya?”

“I suppose I am.”

Levi looked away. “Come help me get Betsy back inside.”

He saw Erwin grin from the corner of his eye. Levi glanced over at him and scowled. “And what’re you looking all happy for?” he asked.

“You called her Betsy.”

Levi wanted to smack himself on the forehead. “Honest mistake.”

“You’re so closed off about your own feelings.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “You got that from me accidentally calling the cow Betsy?”

“I got that from a variety of things.”

Erwin followed Levi into the cowshed and led Betsy back into her stall.

“To be completely honest,” Erwin said as they settled Betsy back in, “I kind of thought you were going to make a ‘kiss my ass’ joke when Nile was still asking for a kiss.”

Levi cursed. That would’ve been genius. “I wasn’t really thinking when I did it,” he said. “I just didn’t want you kissing Nile.”

Erwin studied him for a moment. Then, “Were you jealous?”

There was no teasing in his tone; only curiosity, but Levi still felt his face grow warm at the question.

“’Course not. Why would I be jealous of Nile?”

Erwin looked at him in contemplation for a moment longer before breaking into a smile. “Of course.”

Levi didn’t like the look in Erwin’s eyes. It made it seem like he knew something about Levi that he wasn’t telling him.

“Hey,” Levi called out.

“Yes?”

He coughed once. “I think I still kinda feel Nile’s mouth on mine. Do you think…?”

Erwin’s lips were on his again in an instant. Levi could feel him walking him backward until his back hit the wall. He felt his hands roaming up and down his body, settling around his waist and on his ass. Erwin pressed close, bringing their hips together and rutting up against him. Levi groaned.

“Do you still taste him?” Erwin asked between breaths.

“My mouth’s dripping with him,” Levi replied, bringing Erwin’s lips back down to his.

\----

Levi avoided interacting directly with Erwin. After their little scene in the cowshed they’d both went their separate ways for the day and that had been that. The next day, Levi had Hanji tell Erwin that he was feeling a little under the weather, and that if he had any questions he should ask them.

He wasn’t embarrassed or anything.

…Maybe a little bit. But considering he’d been hanging onto Erwin’s shoulders for sweet life as they passionately made out against the wall of the cowshed, he figured he had the right to be. Not to mention the fact that Levi had jacked off to the memory afterward. God, he was a mess.

He heard a knock at his door and Hanji’s voice came through. “Levi? You mind if I come in?”

“Yes.”

They came in anyway.

“So you’re feeling sick, huh?” they asked, closing the door behind them as they walked over to his bed.

Levi stared back blankly.

“Very.”

Hanji raised an eyebrow. “You seem fine to me.”

“It’s an internal sickness. I might be in bed for a while.”

“Ya know, Petra is studying in the city to be a physician. I might be able to have her come over and take a look at ya.”

“That’d be great.”

Hanji narrowed their eyes. “Just admit what’s really bothering you already.”

Levi pulled the covers tighter around him. “I told you,” he said. “I’m sick.”

“Did something happen with Blondie?”

Levi’s eyes widened involuntarily and Hanji snapped their fingers, triumphant.

“I knew it!”

Levi rolled his eyes. “No, nothing happened.”

“Really?” They crossed their arms. “Because I heard some pretty strange noises coming from the cowshed yesterday.”

Levi stiffened. “You heard that?”

“I heard something. Didn’t know what it was until now.” They grinned. “You two finally get a good fuck in or what?”

Levi grimaced. “No. God, don’t be crass. We just…made out a little.”

Hanji whooped. “Well you’re on the right track, lemme tell you that.”

Levi shook his head. “I don’t know,” he said. “I think it might’ve just been a one-time thing.”

“Why is that?”

“It just…doesn’t feel right.”

Hanji frowned. “You like the fella, don’t ya? And he’s obviously weak in the knees for you too. So what’s the problem?”

Levi didn’t say anything. The look in Hanji’s eyes softened.

“Is this about Farlan and Isabel?” they asked gently.

Levi sighed. “I dunno. Maybe.” He looked down at his hands. “They only left a few weeks ago, and I still miss ’em, but with Erwin it feels…”

“Normal again?”

“Sorta. More like…a different kind of normal.”

“Hm.” Hanji brushed some of the hair out of his face. “A good kind of normal?”

Levi breathed out slowly. “Yeah. A good kind.”

“You feelin’ guilty ’bout it?”

“A little bit.”

“Well, don’t. They don’t want you puttin’ yer life on hold waitin’ for them to come back. They wanted to make a life for themselves out there, stop bein’ a burden on you—”

“They were never a burden,” Levi said sharply. Hanji nodded.

“I know that. But sometimes you just gotta do whatever feels right, ya know? And they might’a thought that being independent felt right to them. Ya can’t stay hung up on that, though.”

Hanji had a point, he supposed. And he really did like Erwin, guilty as it made him feel. He sighed.

“I guess—”

Levi was interrupted by another knock at his door. He huffed.

“Now what?” he muttered to himself before calling out, “Come in!”

The door opened and Erwin poked his head inside. “Levi? I heard you were feeling unwell.”

“That’s right,” Hanji said, standing and grinning at Erwin way too exaggeratedly. “And I was just leaving, so maybe you could take care of him for me?”

“I could do that,” Erwin said, looking to Levi. Levi avoided eye contact.

“I thought you might’ve caught something from Nile yesterday,” he said. “I would’ve felt terrible if that was the case.”

Hanji frowned. “Wait, Nile? Why would you have caught something from Nile?”

Levi clapped a hand over his eyes. “It’s nothing. Just ignore him.”

“No, no, Erwin,” Hanji crossed their arms. “What is this ‘Nile’ business?”

“Nile wanted me to kiss him but Levi kissed him instead so I wouldn’t have to.”

Levi thought Hanji’s eyes were going to pop right out of their sockets.

“You don’t say?”

“Out, Hanji.”

“That’s so interesting to hear, because I can think of about a billion things Levi likes better than Nile, and he’s never kissed any of those—”

“OUT.”

Hanji raised their hands in surrender and slowly backed out of the room. “Don’t get too out of hand, you two,” they said quickly before slamming the door shut.

Levi shook his head. “I’m sorry about them,” he said, tiredly rubbing a hand over his eyes. Erwin laughed.

“I actually rather like Hanji. They’re…different.”

“‘Different’ isn’t the word I would’ve chosen,” Levi muttered.  He felt his bed dip as Erwin sat down net to him and his eyes automatically wandered down to where Erwin’s hand was now resting dangerously close to his own.

“Did you need something?” Levi asked, his eyes still on the placement of their hands.

“I was actually wondering if _you_ needed anything,” Erwin said with an amused smile. “Considering that you’re sick and all.”

Levi coughed, embarrassed that Erwin had caught him in his lie so easily. “Well, yes, very sick.”

He felt the warmth of Erwin’s hand close over his own and he looked up, his breath catching in his throat when he saw how close they were.

“I bet Betsy is very grateful for what you did for her,” Erwin said softly. His breath fanned over Levi’s cheeks like a warm breeze.

Levi licked his lips; they felt very dry, all of the sudden.

“Yeah, well…” He faltered as he tried to muster up the nerve to just tell him what he wanted to say. It was hard saying these kinds of things out loud.

“I didn’t do it for her,” he said quietly.

“Oh?” Erwin’s leaned in, his nose just beginning to brush against Levi’s. From such a close angle Levi was able to see the flutter of Erwin’s eyelashes in intimate detail. “And who was it for, then?”

A slight crease formed between Levi’s brows. “Don’t be an ass. You know who.”

“Tell me, Levi,” Erwin said, and he was near-murmuring it against Levi’s lips and Levi was having trouble functioning properly, so he ceded his pride for a moment.

“I did it for you,” he said with a scowl. “There, are you happy?”

Erwin let out a low hum in response, leaned in close enough to stroke the side of Levi’s cheek with his lips.

“I kind of suspected, actually.”

“Well aren’t you Mr. Suave and Dreamy all of the sudden? What else did you ‘suspect’, cowboy?”

Erwin’s lips drifted down to the crook of Levi’s neck and Levi inhaled sharply at the swipe of his tongue.

“I suspect you’re a little in love with me.”

“That’s a big suspicion.”

“I know.” Erwin kissed his neck. “I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t sure of it.”

He was right, obviously. It kind of pissed Levi off.

“And what about you, huh?” Levi asked, pushing Erwin’s face away. “Your mouth is all over my skin like some kinda cannibal.”

“I would like to eat you up, in a sense.”

Levi rolled his eyes. “I reckon you’re in love with me, too.”

“You’d be right,” Erwin said. “I’m madly in love with you. Head over heels.”

“Don’t mock me.”

“I’m not. Well, maybe a little,” Erwin amended when he saw Levi’s unamused expression.

Levi lifted his gaze to Erwin’s and fought the urge to look away keeping his gaze steady. “Since that’s out of the way…” He swallowed the thick lump in his throat. “Will you kiss me?”

Erwin took his face in his hands, murmuring, “Of course,” against his lips before claiming them fully. Levi felt Erwin’s tongue pushing past his parted lips and he moaned in appreciation, hardly even noticing Erwin pushing him onto his back and caging him in on both sides with his arms as he continued to explore his mouth with his tongue.

Levi hitched a leg around Erwin’s hip and rocked up to rub against Erwin, drawing a low groan from within his chest that sent a shiver down his spine. He felt Erwin’s hands slide down to his ass, his fingers digging into his skin lightly as he whispered, “I’ve been wanting to get my hands on you for the longest time now.”

Levi’s breath hitched. “Yeah? How long is that?”

He struggled to stay quiet as Erwin licked down his neck, sucked stinging red marks into his shoulders and chest as he unbuttoned his shirt.

“Too long,” was Erwin’s simple response before taking one of Levi’s hardening nipples between his teeth. Levi arched his back, a gasp escaping his mouth in surprise as Erwin grazed his sensitive skin with nips and licks.

“Goddamn,” Levi breathed when Erwin’s hand found its way down his pants and around his half-hard cock. “You’re a perverted fuck, aren’t ya?”

At that, Erwin paused and looked up, an indignant frown on his features.

“I don’t think I’m any more perverted than the average man,” he said, and Levi hated himself for a second for falling in love with such a fucking loser.

Levi raked his fingers through Erwin’s mussed hair, securing a handful of it in his grip. “Just get me off and we’ll talk ‘perverted’ afterward, alright?”

A hint of amusement was back in Erwin’s eyes as he answered, “Yes, sir.”

Levi, horrifyingly enough, felt his cock twitch in interest at the use of the title. And of course Erwin, the smug fucking bastard, noticed.

“Do you like it when I use your rank, _sir_?” he asked. But it wasn’t as though Levi could give an intelligible response; Erwin’s hand was wrapped tight around his cock and was giving him achingly slow strokes. Levi bucked his hips up in desperation, groaning when Erwin didn’t give him reprieve.

“I couldn’t give less of a shit what you call me,” Levi snapped. “Just stop fucking teasing me and stick your dick in my ass already.”

A rush of cold air greeted his thighs as Erwin swiftly peeled away the loose material of his pants, leaving him shivering in his precum-stained boxers.

“You make a beautiful picture,” Erwin whispered, leaning back as if to admire the image Levi made when he was splayed out like this, all red-faced and trembling.

“I should’ve just let Nile buy you,” Levi growled. Erwin hooked his thumbs in Levi’s boxers and inched them down until Levi’s cock sprang free.

“You wouldn’t have let him,” Erwin said simply before he licked the pooling precum from the tip of Levi’s cock and wrapped his lips around the head, sucking lightly.

Levi let his head fall back onto the pillow as Erwin’s tongue laved the length of his cock, letting out a moan when he opened his mouth and took him in to the hilt.

“Not if I knew how good you sucked dick.” Levi groaned in frustration when Erwin let his cock slip out of his mouth. He propped himself up on his elbows with a scowl. “Why’d you stop?”

Erwin smiled, but Levi found it more predatory than reassuring. “I’m not just a good cocksucker, you know.”

Levi felt his pulse quicken and he tried to keep his voice steady. “Is that your cheesy way of saying you wanna fuck me?”

Erwin didn’t respond, instead finally beginning to strip his own clothes off, tearing away his shirt and tossing it haphazardly to the floor before starting on those leather chaps his ass looked so good in.

“I’ll take that as a yes,” Levi said, biting his lip when Erwin’s boxers came down. “Damn. You didn’t tell me you—”

“If you’re about to make a cock joke, I’ll tell you now: I’ve heard all of them.”

Levi raised an eyebrow. “I guess you’ve already been told you’re hung like a horse?”

“Yep.”

Levi reached up and flipped them around so that he was seated across Erwin’s thighs. He leaned forward, a wry smile at his lips.

“How about: I want to ride you like an overexcited cowboy on his first ever pony ride?”

Erwin blinked. “I think I just went soft.”

Levi snorted and wrapped a hand around Erwin’s obviously still-erect cock. “Lyin’ right to my face,” he murmured. “Terrible employee.”

Erwin placed his hands on top of Levi’s thighs, rubbing the skin there before sliding them up to rest on his hips.

“Sorry, sir. Won’t happen again.”

“Shut up,” Levi muttered. “Now stop gabbing and get out the bottle of oil in that drawer, will you?”

Erwin reached over and dug around in the chest drawer and emerged with a small bottle of oil. “What do you wanna do with this?”

Levi snatched the bottle from Erwin’s hand and poured some into his palm. “You don’t think this thing is just gonna slide right into my asshole, do ya?” he questioned as he started slicking up Erwin’s cock. “It’s lubricant. To make sure it goes in easy.” He raised an eyebrow. “You’ve done this before, haven’t ya?”

“Not in the ass.”

Levi frowned. “How’d you learn how to suck dick like that, then?”

“I’ve sucked cocks before I just haven’t fucked anyone in the ass.”

Levi couldn’t even believe they were having this conversation. He groaned. “Fine,” he said, pouring the oil over his fingers. “I guess I’ll just prepare myself, then.” He reached back around his ass, gently prodding into himself with his middle finger and letting out a sigh when he pushed in.

“This part can be fun if you’re with the right person,” Levi whispered as he worked himself open. “But we’re gonna rush through it this one time, ’cause you’re inexperienced and I really want your dick in my ass, okay?”

He saw Erwin’s Adam’s apple bob. “Okay.”

Levi grunted when he added a third finger, curling and spreading them inside himself until he was adequately stretched out. For the most part. He’d somewhat rushed through it but that was okay; he kind of wanted to feel the burn of Erwin’s cock in him for the first time. His insides clenched around his fingers in anticipation.

“Alright, I’m ready,” he said, pulling his fingers out and moving himself up so that the head of Erwin’s slicked-up cock was resting at his entrance. He grinned. “Are you?”

“I told you,” Erwin said, digging his fingers into Levi’s ass and spreading his cheeks. “I’ve been wanting to do this for a while now.”

Levi bit his lip as he began guiding Erwin’s cock into himself, trying not to clench when he felt his head breach his hole.

“Fuck you’re big,” Levi breathed as Erwin’s cock slid further into him. It was such a tight fit Levi almost thought he could feel the individual veins outlining Erwin’s cock. His eyes watered but he liked the burn of the stretch.

“You okay?” Erwin asked softly. Levi just nodded, not trusting his voice to remain stable. He let out a moan of relief when he Erwin was seated completely and he stayed still for a moment, content to just feel Erwin’s thick cock filling him so wide. He felt Erwin’s cock twitch inside him.

“You’re so tight.” Erwin’s voice sounded strained. Levi grinned.

“Pretty nice sticking it in the ass, isn’t it?” He placed his hands on Erwin’s chest and leaned forward, pulling his hips up until he was almost completely off. “It gets even better,” he said, before sliding his hips back down in one fell swoop.

Erwin gave him an appreciative moan and tightened his grip on his ass.

“Shit,” was all he could say in response as Levi began to ride him like—well, like an overexcited cowboy on his first ever pony ride. He almost had the urge to say “giddy up” but he was sure Erwin would never forgive him if he did. Besides, he was really enjoying all of the cute noises and expressions Erwin was making just like this.

“You’re fucking adorable,” Levi told him as he snapped his hips down again. Erwin groaned.

“Not exactly what I want to hear in the middle of the most mind-blowing sex I’ve had in months,” he muttered. Levi snorted, though he’d be lying if he said that he didn’t feel at least a little smug at Erwin’s admission.

“A sexy adorable,” he clarified. Levi sank down again and moaned when Erwin’s cock rubbed exquisitely against his prostate. His words were strained when he said, “Like, ‘I really wanna fuck him until he cries’ kind of adorable.”

Erwin gripped Levi’s hips tighter and pulled him down to meet his thrust, hard enough that Levi swore he saw stars.

“You’re terrible at sex talk.”

Levi smirked and leaned down low enough to press a messy kiss to Erwin’s lips. “Tell me something I don’t know.”

“At least you’re still good at the important part,” Erwin said between breaths, running his tongue along the underside of Levi’s jaw. Levi’s answering snort was little more than an exhale of air.

“ _You_ could stand to go a little harder. He sucked in a sharp breath when Erwin complied and began forcing Levi up and down his cock to meet his thrusts more powerfully. “Shit, that’s it.”

Erwin sucked at Levi’s bottom lip until it was stinging, and then he pulled away with an almost guilty expression on his face.

“I’m actually getting pretty close,” he said. “Do you want me to…?”

“Normally, yes.” Levi clenched around Erwin, relishing the loud moan that consequently escaped his lips. “But you were so good for me,” he said with a grin. “So I think I’ll let you come inside this one time.”

Levi felt Erwin’s grip grow tight enough to leave bruises as his thrusts became more and more erratic, until he felt the warm release spill inside him.

He didn’t pull out right away, more focused on getting Levi off.

“How close are you?” Erwin asked as he jacked him off.

“Close enough. Just-ah, that’s it-fuck—” his voice degenerated into a high keening noise as he felt his core pull taut and then release like a spring, and he came messily in Erwin’s hand. He paused to catch his breath, collapsing forward and letting Erwin’s cock slip from his ass. He winced at the sticky wetness that leaked out when he did.

“Good job,” was all Levi had to say. Erwin laughed.

“Thanks. Sir,” he added. Levi rolled his eyes and flopped onto the bed next to Erwin.

“Don’t get too comfortable,” he said, throwing an arm across Erwin’s bare chest. “Let that be a reminder that I’m still your boss, and we’re still going to have boundaries.”

“Do those boundaries include occasionally fucking in the cowshed?”

“That’s disgusting and unsanitary. But yeah, they do.”

“Then I think I can manage.”

Levi tried to hold back his laughter.

Maybe Hanji and Mike were right. Farlan and Isabel might’ve been gone, and he’d still miss them like hell, but he might just be able to do alright on his own, too.

 _Well_ , he thought, closing a hand around Erwin’s and squeezing lightly. _Not exactly on his own._

**Author's Note:**

> This is the peak of my writing career.


End file.
